A Friendly Appeal to Church Service Etiquette

Note: This was edited and adapted with my own tweaks and concerns from http://www.baptistedifier.com/an_exhortation_to_church_service_etiquette.html

A Friendly Appeal to Church Service Etiquette

Several years ago a Baptist College Professor attended a sports awards banquet at a high school. Soon after the speaker began, the professor became disgusted. Not with what the speaker said, but with the terrible lack of respect and common decency given him by the crowd. He said you could barely hear over the conversations going on by students and adults. As well as people constantly coming and going, rattling snack wrappers, cutting up, and other disrespectful behaviors.

Such disrespectful manners among those at banquets, concerts, plays and other public occasions are common today. BUT, lack of respect through bad manners has reached into local churches. 

One sad truth of my generation is: the world has changed the church more than the church has changed the world.

 People used to wear “Sunday Clothes” for church out of respect for God and fellow believers, but in a society where it’s OK to wear shorts, t-shirts and tank tops most anywhere that’s quickly falling by the wayside. True many don't own suits and ties any more, or have fancy dresses. The Bible doesn't say that ties and fancy dresses are required for worship. How about "Dressing Respectfully"? If I went to a Cowboy church I would expect them to be in their better Cowboy attire.

Also, folks used to behave in church services in a way demonstrating respect for the speakers, singers, congregation, facilities and, most of all, for the Lord. However, in many churches even those who desire to hear the Word are too distracted by irreverent conduct of others to get much out of it.

In some churches it’s hard to focus on God with people coming and going, conversations going on, rattling wrappers, slurping drinks and smacking food. That’s not to mention children who aren’t taught to sit quietly, cell phones, and the sound of Bible covers being zipped before the end of the sermon. Bad manners in church are a reproach to God, His Word, preachers, churches and the members themselves.

I. PROPER CHURCH ETIQUETTE GIVES GOD WHAT HE DESERVES

We’re to respect and glorify God at all times, but most especially in His house.

Leviticus 19:30 reads, “Ye shall keep my Sabbaths, and reverence my sanctuary: I am the Lord.” In the New Testament the Temple is not the building but God’s local church joined in worship and service.

Psalm 29:2 exhorts us to “Give unto the Lord the glory due unto His name” and to “worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”

·        When people are walking in and out of the sanctuary when it’s time to worship God in song, prayer, and preaching is that giving the Lord the glory due Him?

·        When distracting conversation is going on at such times is God given the glory due Him?

·        When people choose to wear inappropriate clothes and such to church rather than dressing in their nicer clothes is the Lord given the glory due Him?

·        When folks are still somewhere else drinking coffee, fellowshipping, or procrastinating after services have already started is our Savior given the glory due Him?

The popular trend in churches is to gratify people by making dress ultra-casual, ensuring that coffee and pastries are available, provide never-ending entertainment for all ages, and since it appears to be just like any other event in our society, people tend to talk and move around as they please. But any honest reader of the Bible must surely conclude that this new tradition is contrary to the worship of God recorded and instructed in His Holy Word. More and more so the worship of the Lord in churches is being replaced by the traditions of man which revolve around worshipping self.

The Bible says we’re not to be conformed to the world, we’re to be transformed from it. People should see a difference from the world when they come to church. They should see a people who are giving the Lord the glory due unto His name. They should see Spirit-filled saints honoring and reverencing God rather than a laid-back, sleepy congregation devoted to getting their blessing and glorifying self.

II. PROPER CHURCH ETIQUETTE GIVES EVERYONE ELSE WHAT THEY DESERVE

The worst thing about bad church etiquette is it disrespects God; but it also hinders those with spiritual needs. Those who contribute distractions to people in need of God should heed Rom 14:13b “…but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling-block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.”

·      There’s the person who needs to be saved, distracted by folks continually talking or walking out.

·      The visitor seeking a church who wants to leave due to continual horseplay of kids in front of her.

·      The church member who needs the message but misses it through the crackling candy wrappers, cell phone noises, and other assorted disruptions.

·      And, the person under conviction who thinks it must be time to leave when Bibles are zipped up and people gather their things to leave. Bad manners disrespect God, and everyone else.

Jesus said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” With that in mind, we need to conduct ourselves in church as if we are the ones praying, singing, teaching or really need to hear from God. Especially when the preacher is telling people the most important message of all, how to be saved from eternal hell.

III. PROPER CHURCH ETIQUETTE ACCOMPLISHES WONDERFUL THINGS

Wonderful things come forth through practicing proper church etiquette. The Lord will be reverenced and honored, receiving The Glory Due His Name.

·      The Word of God will have free course.

·      The congregation will experience the unhindered ministry of the Spirit.

·      Visitors will be drawn to the church.

·      The entire ministry of the church will become more effective for the cause of Christ.

What more motivation does one need to repent of bad manners and begin to practice proper ones?!

“Steps Towards Proper Church Etiquette”

·      In order to avoid walking into services late, leave home or Bible class earlier.

·      Don’t bring food or drinks into church service. (Certainly water bottles are understandable if needed)

·      Silence cell phones during services.

·      Please! Don’t walk out of services during the Invitation/Commitment Hymn.

·      Don’t expect someone else to make kids behave whose parents aren’t around. Give it a try yourself.

·      Wait until services are dismissed before zipping up your Bible and gathering your belongings.

·      If you must have a cough drop or mint in a crackling wrapper, unwrap as many as you need and put them in a noise-free container.

·      If you need to exit, please take the least distracting route, even if it means walking farther. Or sit close to an exit if you may need to leave early.

·      Use the restroom before services.

·      Consider how the way you dress relates to respect for God and His people. This is not about wearing “ties or fancy dresses”, but respect and reverence.

·      And don’t hand this list to someone else as a hint, Fold it and put in your own Bible.

Yes, Worship is more a matter of the heart than outward appearances.

But the words we say and the way we act - reveal what is in our hearts.

Sinner or Saint? Which One are You?

     Twice in the last few months I've heard a preacher/pastor scold (gently of course) believers for thinking of themselves as sinners. Even as sinners forgiven, or sinners saved by grace. I hadn't heard that in years. I used to hear it all the time back in my charismatic days. But I don't like it! I don't like it at all. It gets my goat and sticks in my craw and I'm not even sure what a craw is or what my goat has to do with it!
I'm NOT saying they're wrong, I'm just saying... you know, I don't like it.
     But "Why?" you ask?
     Because, while YES, we are saints, that is not the whole picture. I mean, how many folks do you know who don't sin anymore? We have been completely forgiven if we have been born again by the sheer Grace of God the Father, through our faith in Christ. And, we have not only had the debt against us cancelled by God, but we have been given Christ's own robes of righteousness, a new heart, a quickened spirit, and new destination. Yes, we are declared saints, Holy, wholly set apart unto God, His own vessels for service in the temple not made with hands. I GET THAT! Its just that the language of talking about ourselves as saints seems to be all about us. But when we see ourselves as sinners, we turn to Christ as Savior and talk of all he has done for us.
     Right now, as the saved in this world, we live in the Kingdom which has come but is not yet made manifest in all the earth. This Kingdom is God's rule and reign. It is the essence of the Good News that Christ came preaching. (Mk 1:14-15) In this Kingdom the Gospel of Jesus Christ rules! That means that Grace Rules, because Grace is the heart of the Good News and of the Kingdom. Grace! Total and complete and free for sinners. Costly to God through Christ, but free for us who have been redeemed.
     This wonderful Amazing Grace reminds me that I am a sinner, poor and needy, lost and greedy, but saved and loved. I'm a sinner, with a conscience enlivened by a Holy god above. I need the Gospel everyday! Everyday I need to know my success as a member of God's Kingdom depends on GRACE!
     Paul asked an important question to the Galatians. "Having begun in the Spirit, did you think you'd be made perfect in the flesh?" One way to look at that question is to say, "Having begun by Grace, did you think you could do the rest all on your own?" We can't. We can't conform to the image of Jesus without grace. We can't be happy by clapping our hands but by grace. We can't be witnesses for Christ but by His grace. WHAT? Are you thinking that I just gave you an out for not witnessing? Do you think you can say, "I just don't have the grace for witnessing, someone else should do that." No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying we should do what we need to do, by the grace and power of God and trusting in His grace and power to take our feeble, lame, good works, and make them powerful through God.
     Some people look at Jesus as if He's a "kinder gentler" Moses. Like He brought in the "Law Lite." Actually , it's the opposite. Jesus raised the bar. The law said don't kill your neighbor, Jesus said don't even hate him. Jesus said to love everyone. Jesus said to go and make disciples. I would submit to you the last three things I said are impossible. we can't do them, yet we are commanded. How does that work?
     We do them In Christ. As sinners forgiven, as sinners saved by grace, as sinners who need the power of god every moment everyday, in order to do the things He has commanded. When we learn to live in that constant state of grace (which is impossible for us, too) then we come to know that His yoke is easy and His burden is light!

Oh Lord, help us to know the same grace that saved us is at work in our hearts to change us and make us what you want us to be. Let us not chafe against the prod, but turn, everyday, and put our head in the yoke of Christ.


Clark D.

PS I really am glad I'm a saint, set apart unto God, for the glory of Christ. just sayin...

A 9-1-1 Remembrance

It’s been said that Ministers are called on to say something when no-one else knows what to say (Al Mohler I think). It’s not a fun position to be in. At the home of a family who have just lost a child or when something terrible like 911 happens, people look to ministers for wisdom and help for their hurt.

Sometimes we’re speechless. Sometimes we’re hurting, too. We can’t make any more sense of a wicked evil terrorist attack than anyone else. But we try and sometimes we don’t do a very good job.

Some people will say, “Remember, God didn’t do this, men did.” But everybody knows if God is all powerful He could have stopped it and He didn’t.

Or we can answer like Jesus did when they asked him about the tower that fell in Jerusalem and killed some folks. He said, “And if you don’t repent, you will likewise perish.” It’s interesting that Jesus didn’t always say comforting words.

In our country we debate whether we should be at war. When we aren’t at war some people think we should be.

We debate whether to show the planes hitting the towers on TV. Some say show it, some say don’t.

We debate how much our children should know about this evil world we live in.

But as horrible as those pictures are that show people dying on 911, there is another picture just as horrible.

We like to say that the people who were killed on 911 were innocent. Where they? The Bible says for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Now I don’t think they deserved to die that day!  They were not enemy combatants! Only grossly evil cowards attack those unarmed!

But, compared to Jesus, there wasn’t an innocent one in the whole group! And yet innocent Jesus died a slow bloody death.

Jesus didn’t endure the wrath of terrorists; He endured the wrath of His own Father. Why? For those who would be saved!

SO, we mourn those that died that day. 

We honor those that gave their lives trying to rescue the victims. 

We give thanks for those who came after the fact to treat them medically and spiritually. 

And, we are very grateful that 40% of the Baptist Churches in Manhattan NY have been started in the last 10 years!

Brig. Gen J. Spivey-Chaplain

And while we promise to never forget the 911 tragedy, we cannot possibly forget the Passover tragedy, when Jesus our Savior died in our place.

And we need to remember, Muslims are not our enemies. They need Jesus. Even the radicals.

1Co 15:51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. 55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

The Rural Church Dilemma

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Another Guest Blog... (edited slightly for space) Author: Jim Elliff

Recently I drove to several small towns in rural Arkansas with my 89 year old father my siblings, tracking the steps of the ministry of both my dad and his father. We visited small towns that even Arkansans might not recognize today: Cotter, Caledonia, Hagersville, Greenwood, LaVaca—twelve in all. These were the places where my father, and his father, labored for Christ seventy and eighty years ago. Much has changed in the landscape of rural America in seventy plus years. For one thing, most farms have been eaten up by large conglomerates, dramatically reducing population. The size of families has dropped and the area Walmart has made ghost towns of typical downtown areas. Families moved out of these rural areas for big cities in order to find work, and young people will almost certainly not stay where there is no action. With these demographic alterations, the country church has been reduced to a shadow of what it once was.    But this does not mean the country church is not there. There are yellow brick buildings with mud stains around their base that still exist as the gathering place for those few faithful (and often reserved) older citizens and, in rare cases, a family or two containing younger people.    The "county seat" town churches are doing better, but even they feel the changes. Some have become regional churches. In fact, there are some notable exceptions to the rule that rural churches are failing. In one Arkansas town you have likely never heard of, 900 are attending the largest church on Sunday mornings. The more remote rural churches have yielded their younger families over to these active centers. We could call it the "Walmartization" of the rural church.    I've been there in my own ministry, pastoring in historic Washington, Arkansas as my first assignment. Thirty-five years ago, this town consisted of about 400 occupants, half black and half white. It has now lost much of that population and has turned into a state park (it was the old Civil War capitol of Arkansas). I never knew what quiet was until I pastored in that town. I used a "privy" behind the café and I waited out the lonely nights in a "Jim Walter" home provided by the church. It grew to about 60 in attendance while I was there, but stayed mostly around 40. The grade school moved to Hope just after I was there, and things went down further.  I'm not even sure if the church still meets. We said, even at that time, that the church was "just past Hope."    In addition, I've preached in so many rural churches I could not even begin to recount them all. A ministry of 40 years of preaching has landed me in city and rural churches, some huge, others so sleepy that grass grows unmolested on the two-lane highway—and deacons wear overalls. Though I've loved all of the experiences I've been privileged to have, I have to admit that it is often easier to visit than to stay. And I've scratched my head with the pastor wondering how the church could find vitality.    What happens when a young seminarian or college ministerial student takes his first churches in these areas? And what should the committed rural pastor think about his church's future? Here are some thoughts for rural pastors. You are the experts, not me. But these thoughts might stimulate something in a church that is not going to be known, outside of a miracle, for its numerical growth. In fact, you may wonder sometimes if God knows you are there. Remember that you are entirely unaware of the impact of your ministry. For instance, you may teach older adults without much visible impact. But one of them, perhaps a grandparent of an unconverted child, may receive stimulus from your ministry that makes her a true witness to her grandchild. Her witness, prompted by your instruction, may be the thing God uses to bring that child to Him. She may not even be aware of her impact. It may not come to bear until after she has passed on. The grand-child, in time, may marry a believer and raise up children who also become believers in another part of America. Do you really know what that will mean in terms of eternity? Do you know what it means in terms of generations of believers? What if, three generations down the line, one of the Christians in this line is instrumental in evangelizing an unreached tribal group? Did you see that when you taught that grandparent on a sleepy Sunday morning? Likely not. Jesus said, "I will build my church." The time you taught that grandparent might be far more instrumental in the building of the universal church than ten years of ministry in a large city church. You cannot know how God will work for sure, be confident ...[in] how significant your labors are. Therefore, "sow in hope." Be happy to know that you may not be able to change much but lives. I mean by this that the structure of things, the hackneyed songs, the unrefined style of your meetings, the organizational plan, the leadership set, etc., may not be within your power to alter. But, at the end of the day, the real purpose of your being there is to change lives, not to make things look good.  I found, you will often not know your impact until you are gone. I received a letter from someone at that Old Washington church who was affected by my novice ministry in ways I did not dream. She was then a child visiting without her parents, and I had paid real attention to her. She continued to come, though almost always hidden in the shadows. My attention to her resulted in her eventual conversion and a life of serving God for which she was extremely thankful. Her brother, who died as a youth, had also been converted. She had been seen as not just a visiting girl, but as a soul important to God. The importance of that attempt at caring was completely unknown to me until I received that letter. The focus should be on people. So, keep your aim right. Be energized by the concept that your church could become the most loving church in the world. I find this compelling. There will be many things your church may not be. It may not be the most educated, most innovative, or the most evangelistic church, but it can be the most loving church. There is nothing to stop that from happening except your lack of determination and/or the will of the people. Love, after all, is the sign of maturity as a church. You will find ways to encourage love. This may mean you will work out ways for people to be in your home, and in the home of the other members. You will think of ways to get people to really know each other. Sheep need help to overcome their reserved nature. They will need to be commended for acts of love, just as Paul often did. You will need to set the pace and demonstrate a passionate love for the people. Dream about this. And, my experience is (and the Bible's teaching is) that this is a powerful way to witness. The love of the people of God for each other is, as Francis Schaeffer said, "the final apologetic."   When it is all said and done, we are going to be thrilled at the way God has used the out-of-the-way places, the forgotten places, to do some of His most significant things. I love the rural church and hope you do. Some of you will serve all your life in them. God bless you for your perseverance and courage. And I love Jim Eliff, and his brother ministers, too. Clark D http://www.ccwblog.org/ Jim is a house church pastor, seminar speaker, preacher and one of 4 writers of the CCWBlog. Oh, and a calvinistic baptist.